Monday, September 6, 2004

Things That Make You Go "Hmm..."

Well, the weekend seems to have gone by very quickly... and left me feeling confused, even though I thought i had some direction towards the end.

I went out with a friend of mine and his boyfriend for dinner today, after having an interesting night discussing problems my best friend is having. I come back to an empty house, and try to make the best of it by keeping myself occupied and talking with my friend again. We both want to start working out again badly, and I know it would do me a world of good, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. So, well, that's a plus....

My best friend and his boyfriend finally came home around midnight. They had taken a trip to a place my best friend had wanted to go view for a while... and well, i had wanted to go too, for a few reasons, besides having a chance to discuss things more in depth with him about and see firsthand things... but alas, i have no car at this point. Ain't that a shit?

I don't know. Perhaps it's just my mindset today. From my vantage point, it seems like the most discussion i've had with my best friend is a few hellos and goodbyes, aside from the brief chat this morning. I guess it's the first time since we moved in that i actually felt like a roommate first and foremost. Seems like stress and confusion are are abound right now, and I just need to find some way to grasp an understanding of things, which is very difficult because no single thought or idea seems concrete and tangible in the first place.

Well, hopefully there will be time to talk tomorrow to try to figure things out.... I felt like i was intruding tonight, so I didn't press the issue. When discussions seem to stop a little too abruptly, that's when a little internal alarm goes off that something isn't quite right. But as they always say, "only time will tell..."