Saturday, October 29, 2005

History Will Teach Us Nothing

Ok, so I haven't been posting on this lately. Sue me.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Not much is new here. My boyfriend swore off drinking, and aside from a couple slip-ups, he's been sticking to it. We've both been stressed lately so it's been a rough haul. Certain not-so-good people are out of the picture now, and I'm glad. Even though some certain emails have had the mark of the beast on them, I'm letting the drama some people are trying to circulate die in its origins. If people try to make my life miserable, they won't succeed.

I've started writing a bit again, which is a welcomed change. I've been away from it for too long. Lately, I've been neglecting too many things in the attempt to make everyone happy. And, of course, my own happiness has suffered from it. Though I'd like everything to be perfect, I know that won't happen all the time.

There have been some rough times and hurt feelings lately, and not all of it has been intentional. I feel sometimes like some people have a problem with my boyfriend because of the past, but none of us are perfect. He's done a lot wrong and made a lot of mistakes, but he's working on changing his life for the better. I just wish the past would stay there, but the past is an inescapable horror sometimes that we're all doomed to have hanging over us. All we can do is press onward and hope for the best.

In three weeks, my boyfriend and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary. Hopefully it will be a good one. I'm hoping to figure out something special for that day involving our friends, as well as some alone time for us. It's been a rough year, but we've survived it all. I do believe there's cause to celebrate. And yes, it seems as though lately we've been inseparable. In many ways, we have become a united front. I do still enjoy my time to myself, but we both feel like we don't get to spend enough time together still. That may not always be something people are happy with, but when you have no social life, you don't want to be social while the husband sits at home staring at a wall. Neither of us are happy being left out.

Wednesday, October 5, 2005

Feeling the Itch

Another long week has come and gone... or has it?

The past weekend was a doozie. The boyfriend's been a big ball of stress, not sure what to do, feeling trapped, feeling the weight of the world on him, and losing it at every turn. It's been a challenge to stand beside him through it all, but I know he needs the support. Sunday, I noticed a few pimples forming, and thought the stress was finally taking its toll on my body.

Monday morning, pimples were forming all over my forehead. That night, I felt feverish and had trouble sleeping. By tuesday,my face was covered with red bumps. Would it ever end?? I thought I was turning into a pubescent child again. My boyfriend swore it must be an allergic reaction, since they weren't coming to a head. Last night was rough and the worrying set in for me. I finally decided to call off work to go to the doctors today.

I sat and waited in the office, now expecting the worst. I had already diagnosed myself in my mind, and my nightmare was true: it wasn't pimples, it was chicken pox. I was shown around like a lab rat to a med student, since pox are as rare as polio anymore with all the vaccines out there. Then, after being lead out the emergency exit to avoid exposing anyone in the waiting area, headed over to get my meds. Five days of pills and no contact with anyone until it dries up. I'm determined to be better by the weekend if it kills me, so we'll have to see how that goes. The itching is driving me insane and I hope I have a chance to see the boyfriend this weekend. I'll have to play that by ear...

I know i said I needed a vacation, but this isn't what I meant!!!

"God always has another cream pie up his sleeve."
- 'Georgie Girl'