Monday, August 15, 2005

Silence of the Lamps

Today, shopping for accessories for my boyfriend's bedroom with him and his best friend, I had the most awful realization: his best friend annoys the living piss out of me. No, it's not jealousy over him, or fear of losing my boyfriend to an ex, or even feeling left out. He's just damned irritating so much of the time to me.

Our little shopping spree for Roman shades turned into the two of them acting like two queens in a beauty salon picking out sheet sets. Um, hello. This is the bedroom my boyfriend and I sleep in. Shouldn't what goes into it be our decision and not someone else's? And as my boyfriend and I were browsing the home decor sections of Target, I hear "Okay, girls, let's go" echoing through the fluorescent white aisles. Yes, mother, coming right away. I forgot we weren't doing this as a fun night out. We were doing this on his time. He had better things to do, like order porn comic books and dye my boyfriend's hair for the hundredth time. Honestly, the compassion was overflowing.

And to think my boyfriend/future husband has no idea why I don't like spending time with the two of them. Don't get me wrong, Nick's a nice guy and fun to hang out with... Maybe at a bar. But most humans have a built in intuition to know when their thoughts and opinions aren't asked for.

This was only a minor addition to the irritation after waiting for 2 hours to pick up some medicine for my boyfriend, followed by waiting for his best friend to pick out clothing for himself. Oh, yes darling, my life revolves around making sure you look so good for this weekend when we go out to a club and you, once again, give head to some unknown stranger in the parking lot of a bar.

And they say chivalry is dead.

This is why I keep stressing the need for us to break new ground and make new friends. Friends who aren't all about clubbing and partying and drinking til you puke, like his entourage generally seems to be. He fails to notice so many things about them: the fact that they find humor in getting him completely fucked up so they get a good laugh, the using and borrowing indefinitely, the lack of care for his well-being. No, I don't hate his friends. I enjoy them, in small doses and at the right times. But they need to know when to say "no, I shouldn't just stop by unexpectedly. You two should have some time to yourself. I have a life outside of you and should give that equal time."

I do have faith in us finding those people. I already have some very good friends, single and couples, who are genuinely a pleasure to be around, and even the ones I rarely ever get to see or talk to are just as profoundly wonderful. I learned from my good friend Tommy years ago to "cut away the dead wood". If someone isn't a true friend, good-hearted and true to themselves, I drop them like a bad habit. Those people know who they are, because I'm utterly unreachable to them. I don't believe in hatred. It's too strong of a negative emotion. My best defense against tyranny and stupidity is simply not caring. My heart is my strongest asset and I use it to it's fullest power. After all, without love and good friends, what do we really have worth living for?


Liam said...

Hear! Hear! Kiddo!!

It's sad how easily you can become like those you surround yourself with.

Negative people in our lives are like a cancer, and they will eventually eat away at our entire existence.

GreerM said...

So very true on all accounts. I myself have been know to "weed" the garden from time to time. Though sometimes a weed is just a flower with an identity problem, and it took awhile before I realized I had to remove it. Always interesting to read. Thank you.