As life leads us through those little pathways in the woods, we never quite know where the trails will lead us. Sometimes, what seems to be the surest, best-worn footpath ends up at a dead end... or worse, leads to a grassy meadow where no trail can be found. And there, we're left to wander for a spell, avoiding spiders and snakes and stinging insects in the blazing sun until we find some faded walkway to follow once more.
It has been an interesting few weeks... and I regretfully tell you all that the video posts I was planning will have to wait. Life has shifted in many ways for me at the moment, but through all the changes, I have to say that I do not regret anything. Honestly. I have a pile of incredibly wonderful memories from the recent past to make me smile and some wonderful people in my life. Perhaps things have changed from "certain" to "lost in the woods" in some areas of my life, but in some level, it all has been worth it. Life is a risk. A life without chances might be safe, but never answers those "what-if" questions. I'd rather have spent my life stepping off the edge once in a while and not finding solid ground beneath me than taking a safe route and never experiencing life's joys, loves, and aches.
I have also had some time to think. And what have I concluded? Mainly, that I'm rather confused about my own path... and disappointed at the person I've become as of late. I feel the need for reinvention and want to do some changing with my appearance, life, etc. yet am not sure how exactly I'll be doing that. I dislike how I've foregone my own opinions and beliefs to please those around me and avoid arguments for so long that I've lost my spark, my trailblazing spirit that took so long to develop. I've slipped back down a gravel slope toward passivity, and it wasn't until someone I care about held a mirror to my face that I realized who I had become. I hated what I saw. But I needed to see it. I'm truly sorry for any grief it caused.
And even more, I hate that I've lost my chipper, blogging habits. I lost the point of this whole blog: to find amusement in the mundane and laugh at some incredibly absurd things about life and death. For that, I apologize to my readers. Life is too serious. We all deal with depression, stress, grief, pain and unbelievable heartache constantly in our lives. It doesn't get better or worse as you age. Ignoring it won't make it disappear, but dwelling on it doesn't make it better. Accept life and people for what they are... find the beauty and wonderful sides to everyone to avoid turning bitter... and most importantly, never forget to laugh.
It's a strange world out there. And during terrible times, humor is often the only thing to save us from total destruction.