Insomniac vs. Nymphomaniac

Eeek. Almost 4 AM. I can't sleep for 3 hours and wake up on time, so it looks like I'm staying up for a while. Where's a 24-hour Starbucks when you need one???

Today I successfully avoided accomplishing anything I set out to do. Well, I was sidetracked by a bored friend and ended up going to a bonfire. Who knew?

This weekend ended up being more interesting than I bargained for. It was my turn to make an oops in my relationship. Ryan made dinner for us and waited. I didn't show. So, he was a little upset to say the least. Come on.. he's never surprised me, let alone remembered when I was coming over! The one time I expect him to be a flake he isn't. Such luck!!

But being the devoted, loyal bitch that I am, I went over. Filet mignon. Not bad for someone who claims he can't cook. Then, of course, his libido kicked in, and as much as it pained me to do it, we spent the rest of the night in bed.

I know. So terrible. Pity me!

But really, sex isn't everything to me. But hey, he went from mediocre to "oh my god, where did you learn to do that???" in a month, so I'm not complaining about his overactive sex drive. He finally learned that I'm going to pester him until he actually starts talking and learning conversational skills, so we can actually hold a good conversation now without him saying "I dunno" or "okay" every 30 seconds. These darn youngins. Have to teach them everything!

Don't mind me. Delirium is kicking in. I'll shut up while I'm still making some sense! Mr. Coffee is calling me... time to begin my torrid affair!

Look, Mom! No Clothes!!

Well, we have hit rock bottom in the news department today: a mother is facing criminal charges for hiring a stripper for her son's 16th birthday party. Perhaps I'm completely mental, but I don't understand what's so wrong with this.

What, you say, am I crazy?? No. Hardly.

Sexuality is the most repressed thing in this country. We're taught that sex is a shameful act never to be committed unless it's for the necessity of procreation, sealed with the bond of marriage. HOGWASH! It's a recreational activity to many, not to mention a way of showing love. If sex were truly only to have children, 99% of the sex happening in the world today would cease! What's so wrong with having pleasure in life??

But I digress. Now for the next shocking statement: this particular case has NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX.

Surprised? I thought you might be. Strippers not relating to sex? Allow me to explain.

This all boils down to one thing: nudity. And not even COMPLETE nudity. Now I ask you, what does nudity have to do with sex? This fundamental question is why there are nudists. Our good ol' Puritain ancestors instilled in us the notion that any time someone is naked, it means they are going to have sex or are performing an ultimate sin. How stupid can you get??? Go to any other country in the world and they understand the difference between the naked human body and sex. Why are we still caught in the dark ages?? Nudity is the most natural thing in the world, quite literally. We're simply trained to believe that if we're naked we're vulnerable and should be ashamed and guilt-ridden. To be naked is to be "uncivilized" and "savage". How utterly absurd!

So, back to strippers. What's wrong with a 16 year old boy filled with hormones getting to see a little extra flesh? Probably as much as he sees in a Victoria Secret catalog, if he hasn't borrowed one of his father's stashed pornos? Absolutely nothing. He wasn't raping someone. He wasn't meeting an escort or prostitute. He was going to be fully clothed at all times.

Now I ask you: what's the harm in that?

Poor Judgement and Pitfalls

Ok... it's been a long time since my last post, and a very insane month to boot. Obviously, I'm not going to mention every last detail of the past few weeks because there's too much for one entry, but I'll mention bits and pieces and backdate some entries I wrote over the past few weeks.

Life is good though. I quit smoking.... theoretically, at least! I went 3 weeks without a cigarette, and was fine until tuesday when my boyfriend came clean and told me he cheated on me with a straight guy at a bar when he was trashed. Some people might think I'm insane for it, but I didn't dump him. We talked about it. I understand his wraped rationale for why he did what he did. No, it doesn't make it right, but it doesn't make it go away either. I was crushed. But we're all human. We all make mistakes in momentary lapses of intelligence. I love the guy. Simply put.

It's interesting to know what love does to you sometimes. Times you always say "I'd kill the SOB" seem to go over differently than you'd expect. Sometimes, you just have to forgive people for doing some things and move on. Dwelling on the wrongs you've done to eachother is unproductive and childish. A drunken night of seduction is just as amusing as flying steak knives in some ways. We all do things we wouldn't normally do sometimes.

I guess I realized I don't hold any grudges against anyone anymore. Life's too short for prolonged catfights and tantrums. So the old roommate and you had a fight and resorted to namecalling. So your old boyfriend played headgames with you long after you broke up and he went back to the military. So you kept a few key things of an old flames and considered blackmailing him with them. So you moved and left material objects behind you'll never see again. So WHAT? The point is we'll never fully understand other people or ourselves. Everything that happens in life is meant to teach you something. Those who learn from them go somewhere with their lives. Those who sit in their little world and fester like some sore never become anything other than what they always have been... which in reality isn't much of anything.

Live life, enjoy what you have, become what you dream of, and forgive others as well as yourself. You'd be amazed how far a little kindness can go in a world of competition and vanity.