Not So Resolute...

It's time again to make those New Year's resolutions. So, what are mine? Well, I'm not bothering with it this year. Why? I always thought they were pointless. We make our resolutions, start off January full-force working at them, and by summer they're a distant memory. Don't get me wrong; we have the best of intentions. But life carries on. So few of us keep to our resolutions, I would rather not kid myself.

This year will be another year of great change for me. I have things to accomplish and things to look forward to. Some friends who drifted by the wayside will stay in the shadows this year. People come and go in our lives at different times so I understand the cycles. Yet other friends who have been long absent will be returning. It's a trade-off: some fade while others re-emerge. I'll accept it for what it is: an evolutionary process.

I've taken a few breaks from research to amuse myself with reading and films. So many sad lives. As I watched the commentary for The Bad Seed, I was frustrated by the lack of knowledge behind the film. Neither commentator knew about the author of the novel on which it was based, William March. He died two years before the film was made. And the interesting tidbit behind knowing how loved this film is by gay men? March, the author, was gay. He also thought the book was crap. Of all his works, it was the one he wasn't proud of. Yet it's what he is remembered for. How ironic.

Yet that's the writer's curse. We judge our work and the critics (and audiences) have an entirely different view.

It only reinforces how unpredictable life really is. People we believe will be around forever aren't. Things we do that we believe matter most don't. Insignificant things end up having great meaning.

Life is a game of Russian roulette.

So to those of you planning out resolutions, remember that nothing ever works out exactly according to plan. Life can't be scheduled for the proceeding year. Don't beat yourself up if that list goes unheeded. Set your sights on goals, but be willing to be a little flexible...