Sunday, April 23, 2006

A Writer Writes... Always

I've started reading another wonderful book today (though I still have 2 unfinished ones... I'm too far behind with everything!) I consider it a mild celebration for an end to my writer's block. The book is "Don't Get Too Comfortable" by David Rakoff. Though it's wonderful and hilarious to read, it depresses me just the same... and not because of the subject matter.

My obsession with the written English language leaves me feeling like a Neanderthal after reading other well-written books. Sure, I've come far from my elementary school years of "she went downstairs and saw a piano and got scared," but in the grand scheme of things, my writing feels just as bland to me. Although reading a thesaurus from front to back might help tremendously, I don't exactly have the patience and mindlessness to perform such a mundane task.

I'm such a peasant!!

But still, I feel quite confident today. I have a storyboard up finally, and that's the final step before writing a rough draft of "7 Valium" (my screenplay.) I see a few missing holes that need filling in before the story can be whole and run in a full circle, but I'm finally so close I can taste it. And yes, that means I'm one step closer to my vacation. Oddly enough, I have to thank my last boyfriend for this monumental achievement. If it hadn't been for my frustration with him and the moments of anxiety he caused lately, I wouldn't have had the dogged determination to write and block everything else out. LOL

I guess good things can come from bad...

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The Rain It Raineth on the Just....

Another week slowly approaches its end....

My birthday went rather well, surprising with the low turnout. But I had a chance to see a few people I haven't seen in years, and spend some time with my favorite people. The cake turned out wonderfully as well...

Other than that, not much is new. My Aussie friend and I have still been chatting here and there via email, though he does have things to accomplish aside from sitting in front of a computer talking to me all day... and I have my writing to work on, since that's what will pay for my vacation. My ex has been going back and forth between tolerable and completely-annnoying-in-a-Tourettes-sort-of-way. Some men just need to be sedated heavily... or shot. Whichever is easier.

Work has become one of my major frustrations. The shelves are now reorganized, with numbers going in illogical directions and a complete lack of order. I nearly ran out of the building this morning, pulling my hair out. If we're going to play "Helen Keller takes on the Dewey Decimal System," may I please be permanently excused?? But no... I can't afford to quit. Otherwise, I would walk out and never return.

Quitting smoking has its difficult moments... but I've been successful so far. Ok, maybe I cheated a couple times and snuck outside for a cigarette, but it's better than smoking more than a pack a day! lol I went for a hike yesterday, and it did relieve a little tension... not as much as something else would, but I'll manage without it for now. LOL

I ran across another ghost website created by people in my own town. It's... interesting... but eh, meeting new local people with common interests might get me out into fresh air more often. But with the threat of rain for the next few days, somehow I'm not sure that will happen.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Patty Cake, Patty Cake......

Well, the cake is frozen still... the plans had to be changed so it wouldn't only serve 6 very petite people. LOL I'm waiting until tonight/tomorrow morning to worry about finishing it, since I have to do the cutting and frosting all at once to prevent crumbling.

I am eagerly awaiting my birthday email from my Aussie friend. I'll be sure and wake up early so I can start my birthday on a very good note! I have some phone calls satill to make today to make sure everyone's coming, but I'll wait until later for that. And I have someone else to invite who never responded to my invite... should be a fun night, even though there are going to be female strippers there late. Might need a back-up plan.... or just avoid Bounce like the plague. LOL I'm sure my straight friend will head over there, if his girlfriend doesn't beat him unconscious!

Tonight should be great.. a movie and dinner with two great friends. Then the cake.. then the party... a great weekend! I just hope all my friends get along... some of them are very interesting characters. LOL But even so, I think this shall go down as my best birthday to so far!

Ugh.. I'm still giddy and I can't stop smiling. LOL I can't imagine what caused that!!! LOL

Thursday, April 13, 2006

I Don't Have to Be Me 'Til Monday

Finally.. a much-needed 3 day weekend! And the weather couldn't be better! Prime time for construction workers to be baring their tanned and sunburnt brawn. Oh, how I missed summer. LOL

Even though I'm a bit tired from work (a very short day, thankfully), I'm still feeling completely happy. Honestly, haven't felt this wonderful in a very, very, VERY long time. I have to thank my Aussie friend for that. He had to limit his emails to once a week so he could concentrate on everything else in his life... you could say he's become a bit obsessed, but in a good way. lol As if he's the only one! LOL When I go from casually joking about leaving the country to planning out a strategy for moving permanently to Oz, you know there's more to it than just a "phase." It's funny how logic and rational thought fly ot the window sometimes in matters of the heart.. and how you can care so much for someone after a few months and feel so utterly and completely connected to someone that the words "soul mate" run over and over in your head at a dizzying speed. But even in perfect situations, nothing's ever perfect! LOL After all, in a perfect world, we would both be single and wealthy enough to just jump on a plane and see each other. LOL But what's life without a few dreams??

Only 1 1/2 days left until I turn "another year older and deeper in debt." LOL And I never thought I'd say this, but I'm happy about it! I know some of my friends are going to read this and think "who are you and what have you done with Ken!?" because I'm not usually this cheerful all the time. It's amazing how one close friendship can change your life.

Unfortunately, though, I need to find my own balance though. I haven't touched a screenplay in over a month and that's my ticket to a vacation Down Under. Perhaps I too need to take my head out of the coulds for a minute and come back to reality and hit the books, so to speak. I have to make a living somehow, and spending day after day toiling in a warehouse wearing myself out for an income that still puts me below the poverty line isn't going to do that! One screenplay would pay me at least as much as I would make in 5 years at the warehouse. How sad is that? LOL

What? Me, obsessive? Never! Just because my Aussie friend has (or merely appears to have) more self-control than I do doesn't mean I'm obsessed. Hmm?? Denial? Isn't that a river in Egypt? LOL

On a side note too... I've decided to make a change in my life starting after by birthday. Yes, you're all heard it before... I'm quitting smoking. AGAIN. lol But hopefully for good this time. Since I plan on having some drinks on my birthday, I won't say I won't smoke that day. I know alcohol and ciggies go hand-in-hand. I need to find something else to relieve nervous tension that builds up in me. Something constructive instead of fatal. Even if it's chewing on pencils, it'd be a better choice. A new year of my life is dawning.. and it looks as if it's going to e the most wild, interesting, and adventurous one as of yet!

Sunday, April 9, 2006

Georgie Porgie, Pudding Pie....

Well, it's been an interesting weekend. That's now always a bad thing though...

It started off friday with making my Aussie friend cry. No, no, I wasn't mean to him at all. It was actually from a compliment. I just said how much he meant to be as a friend and how if everyone were as wonderful as he is, the world would be a much nicer place. He said it's the nicest thing ever said about him. And all I was aiming for is a smile.. I guess I overshot the runway. LOL

Saturday was rather uneventful. But sometimes, that's a good thing.

Today, I went to a friend's girlfriend's birthday party. I walked there (a good 5 1/2 miles, ouch!) and we all went to a mexican restaurant. There weren't many of us (the two of them, my friend's mother, a straighy guy from myspace, and a lesbian couple) but we had a blast. Good food, good people,.... who could ask for more?? We only met today for the first time, even though we've talked online for 2 years. We both thought the other lived in Lakewood. LOL Only a few weeks ago we finally realized we lived 6 miles from each other. They've been having it rough though. She and her girlfriend live with her father... and he's evicting them on Friday. Some people just can't handle someone's sexual orientation. Perhaps the talk of a sex change sent him over the edge finally. They're stressed out about trying to find a place with no notice and no money saved. I really do wish I could help.

I ended up walking back after we all stopped for some Handel's ice cream (the coffee chocolate chip was quite good) and I settled in for another dull night. Only 5 more days til I'm a year older... seems like only yesterday I was turning 21 and having a terrible birthday. This seems to be the first year things actually go quite well. I have a decent turnout so far, but I have to see if I need to reserve tables. Might be a good idea to let them know ahead of time! So much to do, so little time...

Friday, April 7, 2006

By "Hook" or By Crook....

Life is a never-ending tumble through the bizarre and unusual. I'm beginning to absorb all of this very slowly. You never quite know what is waiting for you around the next corner.

This has been an eventful week for me. Mostly good, which is a nice change of pace. But we'll start off with the not-so-good bits to get that out of the way. Well, one thing. My once best friend.

I hadn't heard from him in months. Now that he found a man and is happy, everyone else doesn't really matter to him, including me. So he left me a voicemail last night. Our birthdays are a day apart, but he's busy that day working on his boyfriend's new house that they'll be living in. Awe, how sweet. No, there's nothing wrong with him being happy, just the fact that he always "needed me" and wanted me there for moral support when his life was hell.. and when mine was? He just wanted to talk about himself. So now... when I needed him to talk to when my break-up happened... we couldn't talk because he was "upset that I wasn't there for him this winter when he really needed someone." He's "reevaluating" our friendship. I think the term "abuse of power" is more fitting than "friendship."

Ok. Enough of the drama. So what else is new? One week until my birthday... and my Aussie friend and I are still chatting every other day via email. There's a college in AU, ironically the one he attends, that accepts US financial aid. Looks like I could go back to school while being somewhere I like to be! I'm giving serious thought to it all now. It could be the start of a whole new wonderful life for me. Oh, and my Aussie friend and his boyfriend of 2 years are now separated. No, nothing I did. It's just a matter of money. My friend's broke and doesn't want to feel as if he's mooching off his boyfriend, so until he finished his schooling, my friend moved back home. But all is still well other than that.

Another odd thing happened to me this week. I was contacted by another Aussie who thinks I'm a hottie. LOL And he's a pro footballer (that's "soccer" to all you Americans... lol) He's the "hooker" for a team I will not disclose. I'm not sure what position that is, but it sounds a little "red light" to me. LOL Of course, he's married (figures) and quite a handsome guy... and my age (1 1/2 months younger) but it would end up like Tina Turner's song "Confidential" (actually written by the Pet Shop Boys for her... interesting factoid.) So who knows.... "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."

Sunday, April 2, 2006

Have Your Cake And Eat It Too....

Well, this weekend has been an interesting one, to say the least.

My friend's boyfriend has been feeling completely frustrated with his job... or should I say the fact that he's the only one doing it. He was stressed and aggrivated when I was over Friday and Saturday, and I honestly can't blame him. The lower you are on the food chain, the more you get hit with. He's not doing anything wrong though... he's actually the only one doing things right. So now, he's at a bit of a crossroads... like me and everyone else I know. What happens next? What to do...? If only there were simple answers in life. But he's a complete sweetheart, so I hope whatever happens, it's what's best for him.

I'm in a bit of a dilemna myself and it's frustrating me to no end!!!! Ok, for those of you who don't know, my birthday is in two weeks. I don't want a traditional cake. I want something unique. Good plan, right? I thought so...

So, last night, I found the Holy Grail of cake pans. THE cake pan I want to use for my cake. So, what's the problem?? I only found it on 2 websites. One is in German and only ships inside Germany. The other is in English and French and does ship anywhere in the world... BUT... the cost of shipping AND the pan brings the grand total to about $70!!!!! It's not looking good. So, unless my want ad on eBay pulls through very soon, I'll be forced to have to create something freehand. And I'm a perfetionist, so I know I'll mess up and end up baking 20 cakes before I get it right. Oh, cruel twist of fate...

I finally remembered to set the clocks forward. Lovely.. one less hour! Time is definitely not on my side!!!