I've started reading another wonderful book today (though I still have 2 unfinished ones... I'm too far behind with everything!) I consider it a mild celebration for an end to my writer's block. The book is "Don't Get Too Comfortable" by David Rakoff. Though it's wonderful and hilarious to read, it depresses me just the same... and not because of the subject matter.
My obsession with the written English language leaves me feeling like a Neanderthal after reading other well-written books. Sure, I've come far from my elementary school years of "she went downstairs and saw a piano and got scared," but in the grand scheme of things, my writing feels just as bland to me. Although reading a thesaurus from front to back might help tremendously, I don't exactly have the patience and mindlessness to perform such a mundane task.
I'm such a peasant!!
But still, I feel quite confident today. I have a storyboard up finally, and that's the final step before writing a rough draft of "7 Valium" (my screenplay.) I see a few missing holes that need filling in before the story can be whole and run in a full circle, but I'm finally so close I can taste it. And yes, that means I'm one step closer to my vacation. Oddly enough, I have to thank my last boyfriend for this monumental achievement. If it hadn't been for my frustration with him and the moments of anxiety he caused lately, I wouldn't have had the dogged determination to write and block everything else out. LOL
I guess good things can come from bad...
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
The Rain It Raineth on the Just....
Another week slowly approaches its end....
My birthday went rather well, surprising with the low turnout. But I had a chance to see a few people I haven't seen in years, and spend some time with my favorite people. The cake turned out wonderfully as well...
Other than that, not much is new. My Aussie friend and I have still been chatting here and there via email, though he does have things to accomplish aside from sitting in front of a computer talking to me all day... and I have my writing to work on, since that's what will pay for my vacation. My ex has been going back and forth between tolerable and completely-annnoying-in-a-Tourettes-sort-of-way. Some men just need to be sedated heavily... or shot. Whichever is easier.
Work has become one of my major frustrations. The shelves are now reorganized, with numbers going in illogical directions and a complete lack of order. I nearly ran out of the building this morning, pulling my hair out. If we're going to play "Helen Keller takes on the Dewey Decimal System," may I please be permanently excused?? But no... I can't afford to quit. Otherwise, I would walk out and never return.
Quitting smoking has its difficult moments... but I've been successful so far. Ok, maybe I cheated a couple times and snuck outside for a cigarette, but it's better than smoking more than a pack a day! lol I went for a hike yesterday, and it did relieve a little tension... not as much as something else would, but I'll manage without it for now. LOL
I ran across another ghost website created by people in my own town. It's... interesting... but eh, meeting new local people with common interests might get me out into fresh air more often. But with the threat of rain for the next few days, somehow I'm not sure that will happen.
My birthday went rather well, surprising with the low turnout. But I had a chance to see a few people I haven't seen in years, and spend some time with my favorite people. The cake turned out wonderfully as well...
Other than that, not much is new. My Aussie friend and I have still been chatting here and there via email, though he does have things to accomplish aside from sitting in front of a computer talking to me all day... and I have my writing to work on, since that's what will pay for my vacation. My ex has been going back and forth between tolerable and completely-annnoying-in-a-Tourettes-sort-of-way. Some men just need to be sedated heavily... or shot. Whichever is easier.
Work has become one of my major frustrations. The shelves are now reorganized, with numbers going in illogical directions and a complete lack of order. I nearly ran out of the building this morning, pulling my hair out. If we're going to play "Helen Keller takes on the Dewey Decimal System," may I please be permanently excused?? But no... I can't afford to quit. Otherwise, I would walk out and never return.
Quitting smoking has its difficult moments... but I've been successful so far. Ok, maybe I cheated a couple times and snuck outside for a cigarette, but it's better than smoking more than a pack a day! lol I went for a hike yesterday, and it did relieve a little tension... not as much as something else would, but I'll manage without it for now. LOL
I ran across another ghost website created by people in my own town. It's... interesting... but eh, meeting new local people with common interests might get me out into fresh air more often. But with the threat of rain for the next few days, somehow I'm not sure that will happen.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Patty Cake, Patty Cake......
Well, the cake is frozen still... the plans had to be changed so it wouldn't only serve 6 very petite people. LOL I'm waiting until tonight/tomorrow morning to worry about finishing it, since I have to do the cutting and frosting all at once to prevent crumbling.
I am eagerly awaiting my birthday email from my Aussie friend. I'll be sure and wake up early so I can start my birthday on a very good note! I have some phone calls satill to make today to make sure everyone's coming, but I'll wait until later for that. And I have someone else to invite who never responded to my invite... should be a fun night, even though there are going to be female strippers there late. Might need a back-up plan.... or just avoid Bounce like the plague. LOL I'm sure my straight friend will head over there, if his girlfriend doesn't beat him unconscious!
Tonight should be great.. a movie and dinner with two great friends. Then the cake.. then the party... a great weekend! I just hope all my friends get along... some of them are very interesting characters. LOL But even so, I think this shall go down as my best birthday to so far!
Ugh.. I'm still giddy and I can't stop smiling. LOL I can't imagine what caused that!!! LOL
I am eagerly awaiting my birthday email from my Aussie friend. I'll be sure and wake up early so I can start my birthday on a very good note! I have some phone calls satill to make today to make sure everyone's coming, but I'll wait until later for that. And I have someone else to invite who never responded to my invite... should be a fun night, even though there are going to be female strippers there late. Might need a back-up plan.... or just avoid Bounce like the plague. LOL I'm sure my straight friend will head over there, if his girlfriend doesn't beat him unconscious!
Tonight should be great.. a movie and dinner with two great friends. Then the cake.. then the party... a great weekend! I just hope all my friends get along... some of them are very interesting characters. LOL But even so, I think this shall go down as my best birthday to so far!
Ugh.. I'm still giddy and I can't stop smiling. LOL I can't imagine what caused that!!! LOL
Thursday, April 13, 2006
I Don't Have to Be Me 'Til Monday
Finally.. a much-needed 3 day weekend! And the weather couldn't be better! Prime time for construction workers to be baring their tanned and sunburnt brawn. Oh, how I missed summer. LOL
Even though I'm a bit tired from work (a very short day, thankfully), I'm still feeling completely happy. Honestly, haven't felt this wonderful in a very, very, VERY long time. I have to thank my Aussie friend for that. He had to limit his emails to once a week so he could concentrate on everything else in his life... you could say he's become a bit obsessed, but in a good way. lol As if he's the only one! LOL When I go from casually joking about leaving the country to planning out a strategy for moving permanently to Oz, you know there's more to it than just a "phase." It's funny how logic and rational thought fly ot the window sometimes in matters of the heart.. and how you can care so much for someone after a few months and feel so utterly and completely connected to someone that the words "soul mate" run over and over in your head at a dizzying speed. But even in perfect situations, nothing's ever perfect! LOL After all, in a perfect world, we would both be single and wealthy enough to just jump on a plane and see each other. LOL But what's life without a few dreams??
Only 1 1/2 days left until I turn "another year older and deeper in debt." LOL And I never thought I'd say this, but I'm happy about it! I know some of my friends are going to read this and think "who are you and what have you done with Ken!?" because I'm not usually this cheerful all the time. It's amazing how one close friendship can change your life.
Unfortunately, though, I need to find my own balance though. I haven't touched a screenplay in over a month and that's my ticket to a vacation Down Under. Perhaps I too need to take my head out of the coulds for a minute and come back to reality and hit the books, so to speak. I have to make a living somehow, and spending day after day toiling in a warehouse wearing myself out for an income that still puts me below the poverty line isn't going to do that! One screenplay would pay me at least as much as I would make in 5 years at the warehouse. How sad is that? LOL
What? Me, obsessive? Never! Just because my Aussie friend has (or merely appears to have) more self-control than I do doesn't mean I'm obsessed. Hmm?? Denial? Isn't that a river in Egypt? LOL
On a side note too... I've decided to make a change in my life starting after by birthday. Yes, you're all heard it before... I'm quitting smoking. AGAIN. lol But hopefully for good this time. Since I plan on having some drinks on my birthday, I won't say I won't smoke that day. I know alcohol and ciggies go hand-in-hand. I need to find something else to relieve nervous tension that builds up in me. Something constructive instead of fatal. Even if it's chewing on pencils, it'd be a better choice. A new year of my life is dawning.. and it looks as if it's going to e the most wild, interesting, and adventurous one as of yet!
Even though I'm a bit tired from work (a very short day, thankfully), I'm still feeling completely happy. Honestly, haven't felt this wonderful in a very, very, VERY long time. I have to thank my Aussie friend for that. He had to limit his emails to once a week so he could concentrate on everything else in his life... you could say he's become a bit obsessed, but in a good way. lol As if he's the only one! LOL When I go from casually joking about leaving the country to planning out a strategy for moving permanently to Oz, you know there's more to it than just a "phase." It's funny how logic and rational thought fly ot the window sometimes in matters of the heart.. and how you can care so much for someone after a few months and feel so utterly and completely connected to someone that the words "soul mate" run over and over in your head at a dizzying speed. But even in perfect situations, nothing's ever perfect! LOL After all, in a perfect world, we would both be single and wealthy enough to just jump on a plane and see each other. LOL But what's life without a few dreams??
Only 1 1/2 days left until I turn "another year older and deeper in debt." LOL And I never thought I'd say this, but I'm happy about it! I know some of my friends are going to read this and think "who are you and what have you done with Ken!?" because I'm not usually this cheerful all the time. It's amazing how one close friendship can change your life.
Unfortunately, though, I need to find my own balance though. I haven't touched a screenplay in over a month and that's my ticket to a vacation Down Under. Perhaps I too need to take my head out of the coulds for a minute and come back to reality and hit the books, so to speak. I have to make a living somehow, and spending day after day toiling in a warehouse wearing myself out for an income that still puts me below the poverty line isn't going to do that! One screenplay would pay me at least as much as I would make in 5 years at the warehouse. How sad is that? LOL
What? Me, obsessive? Never! Just because my Aussie friend has (or merely appears to have) more self-control than I do doesn't mean I'm obsessed. Hmm?? Denial? Isn't that a river in Egypt? LOL
On a side note too... I've decided to make a change in my life starting after by birthday. Yes, you're all heard it before... I'm quitting smoking. AGAIN. lol But hopefully for good this time. Since I plan on having some drinks on my birthday, I won't say I won't smoke that day. I know alcohol and ciggies go hand-in-hand. I need to find something else to relieve nervous tension that builds up in me. Something constructive instead of fatal. Even if it's chewing on pencils, it'd be a better choice. A new year of my life is dawning.. and it looks as if it's going to e the most wild, interesting, and adventurous one as of yet!
Sunday, April 9, 2006
Georgie Porgie, Pudding Pie....
Well, it's been an interesting weekend. That's now always a bad thing though...
It started off friday with making my Aussie friend cry. No, no, I wasn't mean to him at all. It was actually from a compliment. I just said how much he meant to be as a friend and how if everyone were as wonderful as he is, the world would be a much nicer place. He said it's the nicest thing ever said about him. And all I was aiming for is a smile.. I guess I overshot the runway. LOL
Saturday was rather uneventful. But sometimes, that's a good thing.
Today, I went to a friend's girlfriend's birthday party. I walked there (a good 5 1/2 miles, ouch!) and we all went to a mexican restaurant. There weren't many of us (the two of them, my friend's mother, a straighy guy from myspace, and a lesbian couple) but we had a blast. Good food, good people,.... who could ask for more?? We only met today for the first time, even though we've talked online for 2 years. We both thought the other lived in Lakewood. LOL Only a few weeks ago we finally realized we lived 6 miles from each other. They've been having it rough though. She and her girlfriend live with her father... and he's evicting them on Friday. Some people just can't handle someone's sexual orientation. Perhaps the talk of a sex change sent him over the edge finally. They're stressed out about trying to find a place with no notice and no money saved. I really do wish I could help.
I ended up walking back after we all stopped for some Handel's ice cream (the coffee chocolate chip was quite good) and I settled in for another dull night. Only 5 more days til I'm a year older... seems like only yesterday I was turning 21 and having a terrible birthday. This seems to be the first year things actually go quite well. I have a decent turnout so far, but I have to see if I need to reserve tables. Might be a good idea to let them know ahead of time! So much to do, so little time...
It started off friday with making my Aussie friend cry. No, no, I wasn't mean to him at all. It was actually from a compliment. I just said how much he meant to be as a friend and how if everyone were as wonderful as he is, the world would be a much nicer place. He said it's the nicest thing ever said about him. And all I was aiming for is a smile.. I guess I overshot the runway. LOL
Saturday was rather uneventful. But sometimes, that's a good thing.
Today, I went to a friend's girlfriend's birthday party. I walked there (a good 5 1/2 miles, ouch!) and we all went to a mexican restaurant. There weren't many of us (the two of them, my friend's mother, a straighy guy from myspace, and a lesbian couple) but we had a blast. Good food, good people,.... who could ask for more?? We only met today for the first time, even though we've talked online for 2 years. We both thought the other lived in Lakewood. LOL Only a few weeks ago we finally realized we lived 6 miles from each other. They've been having it rough though. She and her girlfriend live with her father... and he's evicting them on Friday. Some people just can't handle someone's sexual orientation. Perhaps the talk of a sex change sent him over the edge finally. They're stressed out about trying to find a place with no notice and no money saved. I really do wish I could help.
I ended up walking back after we all stopped for some Handel's ice cream (the coffee chocolate chip was quite good) and I settled in for another dull night. Only 5 more days til I'm a year older... seems like only yesterday I was turning 21 and having a terrible birthday. This seems to be the first year things actually go quite well. I have a decent turnout so far, but I have to see if I need to reserve tables. Might be a good idea to let them know ahead of time! So much to do, so little time...
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