Well, I'm drinking St. Johns Wort tea right now. That about sums it up.
I think today was a bit manic from me. I went from figuring out the storyline for my novel to ambivalent towards everything to chipper at the pleasant experience at my bank (Navy Federal Credit Union... the only decent establishment who actually gives a damn about their customers), to now... just... *sigh*
I sometimes wonder where there swings come from. Must be chemical.... yeah, a "chemical imbalance" that some pill somewhere cures for $300 a bottle. I HATE medication and don't believe in it most of the time, so I'd rather do without and just "suck it up." Pioneers didn't see shrinks or talk about "acid reflux" my the fire at night. It existed, but people just dealt with it. Everything didn't need a name and a drug. Sick was sick, well was well, and depression was a bout of melancholia.
My friend Bill invited me to go bowling tonight, but i just wasn't quite feeling up to it, lack of transportation aside. Sometimes I feel like a burden to my friends being without a set of wheels of my own. It bothers me to a huge degree. Public transportation would be a godsend and make it so much easier, but thanks for the federal government and the automobile industry, public transportation is dead in this country. Bill truly is my best friend and I am thrilled to know him and have someone I enjoy spending time with, but there's always that lingering "you're a deadbeat" feeling inside me. LOL I want to be able to foot the bill more often.
In other news, the storyline for the novel is complete. Time to start the outline, right on schedule. This project has brought me a lot of joy already, as well as a form of escapism, losing myself in my work. I'm not letting it turn me into a recluse though. To write a good story means to live a full life. I need to live, try new things, travel, mingle with locals,... 'live a full life.' through this character, I plan on traveling for follow-up books, includig London, Montreal, Provincetown, Seattle, Phoenix,... maybe even Prague. Hey, if I'm an author it's a business expense and I can write it off. lol
Well, time to get some work done on the outline and snap out of it. The tea's almost gone... and in the immortl words of Eyeore, "Thanks for noticin' me..."
If anyone reads this, that is...