
I think my heart skipped twelve beats. Oh crap, what did I do?! What happened?! I swear I was just sitting here checking email!!
"I'm good...?" I tentatively replied.
Then he launched into a pitch looking for donations for the Fraternal Order of Police. In moments I was off the phone... half relieved, half laughing at myself.

Yes, it's funny. It's downright hilarious in retrospect. No one is dead. I haven't committed armed robbery. I haven't even trespassed in years! Still, a policeman asking for a donation is enough to drain all color from my face.
Who needs to live in a haunted house? I can scare the pants off myself with a little unsolicited help from the living...