Sunday, July 31, 2005

Ding-Dong, Avon Calling!

It was a very good and strange weekend. Ghosthunting, spending time with the husband, and feeling worked to death. And then, this afternoon, the unthinkable happened...

...I met the ex-boyfriend.

Out of the blue, while I was with my boyfriend, the phone rang. His ex called. Wanted to stop over. *GULP* Talk about a situation that can cause panic in the most confident people!! And to make things better, he was only half an hour away.

We were in the kitchen when he pulled up. My heart completely stopped dead. I had heard that he was a "big guy, like me" so I guess I expected a chunky boy to climb out of the car. Nope. This guy was BUILT, tan, and friggin HOT!! I couldn't think of anything to say, and yes, I was a little intimidated. Huge arms. Slightly taller than me. Wow. He looks EXACTLY how I've always wanted to look. It reminded me of a line from Broken Hearts Club: "I want to be Cole! Why can't I be Cole??"

Insecure, party of one, your table's ready.

We all talked for a short time before I had to go. He was a really nice guy. He even said if I ever need a ride over to see my boyfriend, he'd be happy to pick me up, and we all three can go out to a club some time. It's not fair! Exes are supposed to be despicable characters no one likes, not attractive, nice guys! I definitely don't mind him being in my boyfriend's life. He seems like he'd be a good person to have around. Ryan needs more friends. If they're an ex, so be it. Hell, I'm friends with a few of my exes too. If he can trust me, I have no reason to worry. If he hasn't left me in 8 months, he's not going to pick up and leave like that. There's too much love there.

So, for the first time, I'm throwing my insecurities away. If I always worry about him running off with someone better than me, one day it'll happen. The mind is a powerful thing and creates its own reality sometimes like that. This could be the opening of a new chapter for us... New (and old) friends, a social life, a new look for his bedroom (yes, he finally decided on the colors!) Things are swell right now. I'm not about to let past issues and events come back to haunt me and ruin something this wonderful. I love Ryan. I believe in him. And we have a long journey still ahead of us. Be it bumpy or smooth, I'm sure it'll be a wonderful trip!


Liam said...

Wow kid! Being friendly with the ex is not always an easy thing to do. Especially if the breakup was acrimonious.

GreerM said...

Sometimes I think we all want to be Cole. Though I have always had a thing for Dennis. Great blog, wonderful read. . . and good luck with your beau.

Anonymous said...

am slightly disappointed that my shock disappearance from another website's chatroom elicited not a single remark from you .. how fickle you americans are!

XX Con