No Rest for the Damned...

Want some peace and quiet? A restful retreat? Some time alone to gather your thoughts?

Why not lie in a grave for a little while?

At least that was the plan created by a vicar in Düsseldorf, Germany. Thorsten Nolting thought it might be a nice, "meditative exercise" for his parishioners. People would be permitted a seven-minute stay six feet under to contemplate the world above and resisting the "dark energy...weighing them down".

Of course, the local media ruined it for everyone.

Peace was disrupted by reporters and inquisitive journalists. The end result? Participants were leaving the graves more stressed than ever. They could not find solitude while being questions endlessly by the media about their experiences and had a difficult time blocking out the din from above. One local man was still shaking 20 minutes after emerging from the plot.

Perhaps cemeteries are only truly peaceful when you're dead.

Phantom Law Enforcement...

No one likes being in a police station. But in the town of Homestead, Pennsylvania, even the officers sometimes have that feeling of dread. Why? Because the station is believed to be haunted.

Everything from footsteps to doors slamming has been experienced inside the building by workers. The door leading to the attic mysteriously opens no matter how many times it is bolted shut. A typewriter has a habit of operating under its own volition. Icy breezes blow through the old cell blocks. Even outside the building, a snow blower recently started up... even though it had no key or battery.

Employees finally want proof that they aren't going insane. They've called in the Greater Pittsburgh Paranormal Society to find evidence of a haunting. They claim to have made a discovery in the boiler room (which happens to be a 'hot spot' for activity), though they are waiting to release their findings at a later date.

Three Bedroom, Two Bath, One Demon...

After three long and agonizing years, homeowners Gaetano and Stefania Bastianelli of Spoleto, Italy have decided to sue the previous owners for failure to disclose certain problems with their house on Santo Chiodo Road. The foundation, plumbing, and structural details may be fine, but the haunting has been quite a nuisance.

The house was a steal at €120,000 in 2005. The previous family had even left all their furniture and belongings there... including the coffee cups! Not thinking twice about it, they purchased the dwelling immediately. Unfortunately, starting on the first night they spent in the house, they noticed peculiar things happening.

The hot water turned on in the bathroom, flooding the floor. By morning, the walls were coated in a "luminous green mould". Later, his daughter was awakened by rattling chains in the hallway. Both the lawnmower and Mrs. Bastianelli's car caught on fire on separate occasions for no known reason.

It seems the house is situated near an abandoned cemetery and an exorcism was performed in the house in 1977. Vatican officials cannot confirm that this was indeed the house, but local news reporters remember the incident. Pope John Paul II prayed for the young girl, which finally ended the nightmare.

Antonio Francesconi, the homeowner's attorney, says he expects the case to be settled out of court. Let's hope so, just in case Satan can't be reached as a material witness...

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

This past weekend was a very busy time for me. Although today is the official day, Saturday night is when I gathered with friends to celebrate my friend Chris' birthday.

I arrived Friday afternoon to help Bill clean and set up for the surprise party. Since the weather was decent enough, I painted most of the enclosed porch as well. I decided against finishing it Saturday morning, just on the outside chance some paint might still be wet when guests arrived. That night, I set up streamers and arranged seating for everyone before finally getting some rest.

Saturday, I did some baking early in the day, hoping the scent of chocolate chip cookies would disperse before evening. I cleaned the kitchen and living room before relaxing with a movie. Natasha and Robin arrived in time to help blow up balloons and hang them and we killed time chatting about the paranormal. Slowly, people started to arrive... just in time to quietly wait for Chris to come into the room.

It was a pleasant surprise for him, though the night seemed to pass too quickly. There was food, drink, music and a game of Apples to Apples before midnight passed. The night ended with a movie and fond farewells. But the celebrating isn't quite over yet: this weekend we're having dinner with those who couldn't make it this past weekend.

It was a bit exhausting but worth all the effort. Sometimes, our friends need a visible example of our appreciation and care. He's a wonderful man and a true friend. No matter if he's being serious, goofy, or simply being a good sport and posing for an odd picture, he's always great company.

Happy Birthday, Chris. I hope it's a great week for you!

What We've All Been Waiting For...

It's a landmark day for paranormal investigators around the globe: we now have definitive proof that ghosts actually do exist.

Dr. Clarence Vuyaunte of Cornell University, a professor of physics, says that recent lab work has concluded that the paranormal realm is not only plausible to science but can be quantified by recent experiments in his Eschelmann Hall laboratory. A series of tests were conducted on an entity from a nearby undisclosed cemetery.

His deductions have astounded his colleagues. His findings are somewhat surprising as well:

-"Anti-energy" (similar to antimatter) is the basic component of entities.
-Power is derived from external sources, similar to machines.
-Ribbons of antimatter occur in some manifestations of "spirits", giving them a dark, shadowy appearance.
-Infrared and UV light occasionally captures the outer layer of antimatter from apparitions in cold, dry climates.
-Low levels of current carry the conscious mind of the deceased in a free-floating energy bundle.
-Film specially treated with a phenylalanine solution is best for recording actual phenomena.
-Our "souls" behave like energy waves which enables them to pass through matter.
-Objects are manipulated by entities through a combination of energy transference and antimatter bombardment.
-Light can sometimes be produced by entities. The color depends on the vibration and friction of correlating particles.
-Spirit "orbs" are a form of free energy radicals naturally occurring in the atmosphere.

There are still many trials to undergo, but the current results are very promising. Vuyaunte believes he will be able to publish all of his results later this year.

Oh... and have a great April Fools Day everyone...