Tuesday, June 28, 2005

System Meltdown in 5,...4,...3,...

Ok, it's venting day for me. I've been housesitting for my sister for this week, til her and her husband get back from their cruise to Mexico. Things have been great, until today... the straw that broke the camel's back.

My boyfriend and I get along blissfully for the most part, except for this part of him that likes to joke and take that joke or teasing as far as he can before the rubber band snaps and hits him square in the ass. Today is one of those days.

It didn't help that I already was feeling nauseous and odd today.. possibly an anxiety attack, but seeing as I've never had one before, I'm not sure if it was one or not. That was enough to help heighten my already frazzled nerves and take me from unamused to a stressed-out heap of mental exhaustion.

He likes jealousy. Part of him thinks it shows love. But there's only so much you can take before you cross over that point of "jealous but playful in a cute way" to downright wrong. He's trying to make friends online. Yes, he does need friends badly. We both do. A social life is something that will make us both feel better. But all the men online who IM him want to sleep with him.

He tells me what they say. Honesty is good. But I guess today's man was too much. He wasn't attractive in the slightest bit. He wanted to meet my boyfriend. They all seem to. And not for a cup of coffee and good conversation either. I do trust my boyfriend, and he's not going to run off and sleep with some guy like that. But there's only so much you can take. I lost it. Broke down. Someone had to use the phone so he needed to get off for a while. So, I took the time to write him a long email. So, here I sit, calming myself down. I stopped myself from crying and chainsmoking finally. It's time for this little game to end. He's never seen me completely lose it before, so I think this'll be a bit of a wake-up call. I'm a very tolerant and patient person, so it takes a lot.

I guess that's what I get for dating a Gemini! Not to mention a stubborn, pig-headed little brat. But you know? I love him anyway. Yes, he gets under my skin, but I do the same thing. We know eachother's buttons and sometimes we push them to see how far it takes. I guess it's the only real way to learn about someone's limits... to breach them. All will be well soon. It's just time to pack up the dice, put away the game, and have a serious heart-to-heart. The good outweighs the bad with him. Actually, the teasing and stubbornness, coupled with utter hatred of change, are the only parts that ever cause trouble. It's not a time to throw in the towel, just time to start explaining where I stand on things so he knows not to do it again.

I guess all men need to be trained in one way or another...


LatinaGoddessOfLife said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
LatinaGoddessOfLife said...

Oh honey, keep writing. You're witty and insightful, and even though we live in different communities, I get a glimpse of who you are through your blog.

And I am most certainly what is called "family-friendly." I'm an official member of S.W.I.S.H. (ask me if you need more details).

Buena suerte Ghosthunter!