Tuesday, September 23, 2008

They Really Bought the Farm...

Cows in Tennessee are feeling a sense of unease.

Union County residents along Hickory Valley Road noticed vultures circling a pasture near their property last week. Upon closer inspection, the bodies of eleven cows were found scattered across the property belonging to E. G. McCoy of Knoxville. Assuming the animals had been shot, police were notified. The Tennessee Department of Agriculture disagreed with the verdict.

According to their workers, and those at the University of Tennessee's Animal Clinic, there were no signs of bullet wounds. In fact, no cause of death could immediately be determined. Sergeant Mike Butcher (aptly named) of the Sheriff's Department said that biopsies of the bodies were taken Thursday and investigators are awaiting the results.

"Nobody's seen anything like it," Butcher stated. "It's a first for us."

Four other cows survived. No evidence of foul (or bovine) play could be found. A few local residents claimed to witness UFOs the same night, but authorities aren't ruling anything out at this time.

Of course, if you want to witness your own cow abduction by an alien, you may not have to wait for extraterrestrial life forms. Designer Lasse Klein is working toward production of an Alien Abduction Lamp, complete with human and cow for teleportation.


Jae said...

Ooo... I love the Alien Abduction Lamp!!

Anonymous said...

yeah, i didn't even have to get further down in the blog and already thought they were thinking aliens caused this. "aliens poisoned the cows, whats next!!"