Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Odd News Briefs...

In the last few busy weeks, several news stories fell through the cracks. Here's a little glimpse at some of the obscure events happening around the globe.

Keep You on Your Toes...

Darlington, Victoria has a new claim to fame: it will soon be home to Australia's first "vertical cemetery". Bodies will be buried on biodegradable shrouds standing upright at a cost of $2000—that's a savings of $5000 on a traditional burial. After all the plots are filled, it will become grazing and for cattle (gives a while new meaning to being put out to pasture, doesn't it?). Critics in the mortuary business say it's "disrespectful to the dead" but in these tough economic times, people aren't too shook up over their rotting corpses.

Mobile Monolith...

After selling their historic manor in Abbotts Court, John and Suzy Burton planned to leave a stone circle constructed by fashion guru Thomas Burberry at the site. The developer made clear his plans to demolish the neo-pagan structure, so the couple decided to take it with them. Neighbors were caught off guard as trucks and cranes descended on the suburbs of Dorchester, setting up the the massive stones. Both practicing witches, the Burtons brought their coven to consecrate the grounds. The added positive energy to the neighborhood has been quite wel-received.

Sweet Astronomy...

Do extraterrestrials have a sweet tooth? It's possible, since scientists recently found traces of glycoaldehyde—an organic compound related to simple sugar—some 26,000 light years from earth. The discovery, in a remote section of the central Milky Way where life was thought to be impossible, has brought up questions about other life forms existing in space. But the real, burning question is: one lump or two?

Wolf Man No More...

People suffering from "Werewolf Syndrome" may soon be able to live normal lives. Scientists at New York's Colombia University have made advances in a possible treatment for hypertrichosis, involving testosterone injections. 50 people wordwide suffer from the disease, leading to excessive hair growth over the entire body. This is good news for patients, but bad news for razor manufacturers and circus sideshows.

2 comments:

Jeanne said...

Only you, Ken!!!
Loved your concoction of cockeyed news!
Speaking of werewolves, Stormy Glenn (don't you just love her pen name) is blogging about cowboys, werewolves and gay romances!

Anonymous said...

HAVE A NICE DAY







HAIRYBEARS
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