True News is Stranger than Fiction...

It's been a while since I've reported on a few of the weird goings-on around the globe. Luckily it's been a great year for the bizarreness of humanity. Here are just a few stories that fell through the cracks (including a few from Oceania) found inside the Sydney Morning Herald.

Just Looking for a Ghouled Time...

In Durack, Northern Territory a woman named Jennifer Mills-Young has been the victim of what many Australians have labeled a "randy poltergeist." The ghost, given the name Kevin, attacked Jennifer, a mother of two, in her bed while alone in the house, grabbing her wrist and trying to drag her out of bed. "I yelled at Kevin that he was not welcome in my bedroom and that he couldn't come into bed with me. I told him to f--- off and to close the door behind him," Jennifer told a reporter for The Northern Territory News. "A moment later I saw how the bedroom door was closed."  Jason King, a Sydney-based paranormal investigator, has offered his services to help the woman, who was and still remains very skeptical of the paranormal.

Feasting on Misfortune...

There's something rotten in Wellington, New Zealand. Is isn't the corpses. And thanks to an unidentified man it isn't the funeral banquets either. A well-dressed man in his 40s made several stops at Harbour City Funeral Home and similar businesses in the eastern suburbs between March and April to dine on the banquets and take some extra to go. According to the Dominion Post he was stopped after a week by funeral director Danny Langstraat and his staff who felt he had crossed the line. Mentally ill or just looking for a free lunch? We may never know.

A Very Unlucky Number...

People may chalk up the superstitions surrounding the number 13 to coincidence, but one teenager in Suffolk, England may disagree. Friday August 13th proved to be a shocking day for the 13-year-old boy who was attending an air show when a thunderstorm rolled in. A lightning strike hit the boy and two other crowd members at 13:13. "Lightning strikes can cause cardiac arrest," said a St Johns Ambulance volunteer at the event, "but when our volunteers arrived, the boy was conscious and breathing." He was taken to a nearby hospital and treated for burns on his shoulder.

Rook to Alpha Centauri...

Could aliens pose concerns of national security leaks? Possibly in Russia. State Duma deputy Andrei Lebedev wrote to Russian President Dmitry Medvedev in May asking for a full investigation into the alleged alien abduction of multi-millionaire businessman Kirsan Ilyumzhinov on September 18, 1997. On that date, Kirsan reported that a cylindrical craft piloted by "human-like creatures in yellow spacesuits" landed on his balcony and whisked him away to "some kind of star" in an effort to prove the existence of UFOs. Lebedev was concerned that the aliens may have urged him to divulge state secrets to them and asked for proper protocol to be followed when a high-profile figure is abducted. But they might be overreacting a little. Kirsan happens to be the head of the World Chess Federation. Perhaps they just wanted a few pointers in exchange for a tour of the universe?

Thieves in the Night...

Every trip has its glitch. No matter how much planning you do, things don't ever go perfectly according to plan. That has certainly been true of my life thus far. And my big trip has already hit a snag. The inn I was planning to stay at (gay-owned and allegedly haunted) is booked up for the duration of my stay in Sydney. I found an alternative option which will definitely be a unique experience and have no doubt everything will work out fine. I would have had it booked a month ago were it not for someone deciding not to send out a check I was depending on (and earned every penny of) to reserve the room. I'm quite familiar with highway robbery though so it comes as no big surprise.

Thievery of wages is most definitely a criminal act. How fitting that I'll soon be headed to what once was a convict settlement for England. Most people in the United States know that much about the founding of Australia. It was a great experiment, shipping off the unwanted "criminal class" from Britain to a new country created to be a prison for these people. But why did England feel the need to use such drastic measures in 1787 sending ships of undesireables―from murderers and robbers to the poor and prostitutes―to this place? The answer is simple: England had just lost its criminal dumping ground.

Somehow history books don't generally touch on the fact that before the American Revolution the colonies that would eventually become the United States of America were an unofficial Alcatraz used by England to rid itself of unwanted individuals. Across the Atlantic, they would be out of sight and out of mind. Even some of the earliest settlers in New England, those memorable English Protestants known as the Puritans, claimed to set out for "religious freedom" when in reality no country in Europe would tolerate them. Having been banned from so many places they had no option but to set out on a voyage to lands unknown where no one knew how wretched they really were.

Early America was a mix of entrepreneurs and scoundrels. But with independence from the Crown the 13 Colonies no longer would be England's own personal landfill for society's unwanted. Luckily other choices appeared. Forget Boston. They now had Botany Bay. And the First Fleet arrived there in 1788 only 5 short years after the end of the American Revolutionary War.

Now 222 years later, this is the place I'll be exploring. A lot has obviously changed since those days yet there are hints of history still to be found. Australians have come to terms with the past and even embrace their convict heritage finally. What was once dense wilderness inhabited by many different tribes of aborigines and a plethora of dangerous fauna is now the sprawling metropolis of Sydney, centered just north of the bay where those early Europeans ventured forth into the unknown. But there are still unique, strange, and hidden thing to be found in this nation. It may not read like a James Tucker novel (I should hope!) but with any luck I should makes some interesting discoveries of my own.

Weirdness Around the World...

It's time again to explore some of the strange news stories plucked from the headlines across the globe.

They Were Dirt Cheap...

Judith and Mitchell Fletcher of Tampa love to find a good bargain at a yard sale. While in Brandon they spent $8 on a Halloween decoration skeleton in a box but upon returning home they realized it wasn't made of plastic or ceramic. They alerted the police in Hillsborough County and a detective had the bones examined, determining they were from a real for-medical-use anatomical skeleton valued at $3000. It is illegal in Florida to own real human bones so the couple has lost out on their bargain purchase. The local sheriff's department is contacting area universities with the serial number found on a femur in an attempt to find the rightful owner. The box of bones remains unclaimed.

Dial P for Paranormal...

A recent examination of West Midlands Police records in Coventry, England found that burglaries and altercations aren't the only reason local residents call for help. Over the past five years they have received calls concerning UFOs, ghosts, aliens, and other anomalies. Three calls were even received by people experiencing "paranormal thoughts". A total of 18 calls involving the supernatural are documented, most involving ghost sightings. So when you see a spirit, who you gonna call?

Yeren Hot Pursuit...

The search is back in China as scientists gather once more to search for the regional Bigfoot-like creature known as the Yeren, or "wild man". The Hubei Wild Man Research Association is seeking volunteers and benefactors to help raise $1.5 million for their new expedition. With over 400 sightings of the hairy creature and previous expeditions in 1977, 1980, and 1981 yielding hair and stool samples along with large bipedal footprints they are eager to find conclusive proof.

Bewitching Times...

Two 15-year-old boys were arrested in India for the murder of Nanika Hesa, 40, on Friday. The pair, who believed the tribal woman was a witch and had killed their family members through the use of black magic, hacked Nanika to death with a bhujali, decapitated her, and threw her head into a river in Kalinga Nagar. Both boys confessed to the crime and are being held at a juvenile facility in Berhampur.

Death by Fear...

A man in Milwaukee was sentenced to 9 years in jail and 5 years probation for the murder of Marzella Woodson by scaring her to death. Following an argument where Justin Owen, 21, accused his friend of stealing a handgun, the man fired several shots into the house where he lived back in May. Marzella, 58, heard the gunshots and hid on the floor with her grandchildren and suffered heart failure from the frightful experience.

The Real Fame Monsters...

What with everything happening personally lately there have been some news stories I missed out on mentioning. Yes I'm still doing my best to survive out in southern California. And it seems to be rough for a lot of people lately. Not just living daily life but also dealing with the paranormal.

Take popstar Robbie Williams, for example. After his switch from singing to stargazing in search of life beyond Earth, Williams purchased a magnificent home on an alleged ley line in England believing it would increase the likelihood of a close encounter. So far no visitors from outer space have popped in for tea at Compton Bassett House. The singer is now putting the 7.5 million manor up for sale and, according to some reports, is willing to sell at a loss. According to the Daily Mail, Robbie is planning on living permanently in Los Angeles, California possibly to continue his extra-terrestrial hobbies... or the other strange and unexplainable creatures found on this side of the United States. I should know. I see at least one anomaly a day... and I can't always tell if they're human.

And now, a current pop chart singer is finding herself in a supernatural bind. Gay icon Lady Gaga is allegedly being haunted. Not by ex-boyfriends or crazed fans, but negative spirits. A paranormal specialist by the name of Dan Webb reportedly sold the diva $5000 in ghost busting gear to help her while on tour. According to some accounts, the negative "spirits" are following her everywhere she goes. At first, Gaga (also known as Stefani Germanotta) thought she could be suffering from schizophrenia but became convinced her problems were of the otherworldly kind, which led to her asking Webb's firm to cleanse the offstage area where she was performing in London.

Has Gaga gone ghost-busting? Nobody knows for sure. But just for a little fun, here's a music mash-up of Lady Gaga and the theme music from that classic 80s movie Ghostbusters:

Save a Horse, Ride a Centaur...

More than a few of us have dated a jackass, but usually it's not something meant literally. Though to some, that idea just might be appealing. But in these instances, we hardly even consider the possibility that it could lead to a half-human newborn. It's simply impossible, right? Well, as bizarre as it may sound, some experts say that not only is it plausible, but it may be a real part of history for thousands of years.

In 2005, a study of approximately 5,000 rock paintings in South Africa and Australia dating as early as 30,000 BC by University of Cambridge anthropologist Christopher Chippendale and Dr. Paul Takon of the Australian Museum led the duo to a fascinating conclusion: primitive man lacked the imagination to paint what he could not see, therefore such creatures must have existed. In their new visualization of early man, our ancestors walked the earth alongside these half human beings, known collectively as therianthropes. They surmised that while the frequency and chance occurrence of such births would have been rare, the "beasts" from mythology most likely did exist.

The most famous examples come from Greek mythology. The centaur (from Ancient Greek Κένταυροι or Kéntauroi, meaning "piercing bull-stickers") was half-human, half-horse and is seen even today as an iconic image of mythical creatures, as well as the symbol of Sagittarius in astrology. Soldiers during ancient times would bring sheep and goats with them as both a source of food and sexual relief, since it was deemed less sinful than sleeping with a prostitute (my goodness, how times have changed). The Roman poet Juvenal even made mention that "Roman women often exposed their naked buttocks to tempt donkeys into sex contacts."

Well-respected scholars of the past, including the Italian lecturer and philosopher Fortunio Liceti, recorded several births of therianthropes (both born from humans and animals). Even in more recent history, mentions of half-human births were found in medical books of the 19th and 20th centuries. Although genetically-speaking, animals and humans vary only slightly, modern science held out for some time on the belief that interbreeding was even feasible, yet experiments are said to have resulted in successfully creating organisms with both human and animal cells.

So, could your next boyfriend be a centaur or girlfriend be the REAL cat-woman? Not very likely. Russian biologist Ilya Ivanovich Ivanov attempted such experiments during the 1920s and all his attempts were thwarted before his eventual exile to Almaty due to public outcry. Beastiality, even in the name of science, is seriously frowned upon by the general population. Yet who knows? Perhaps in some remote land, far from societal pressures and taboos, any one of us could very well find a four-legged, two armed man of our dreams who is quite literally hung like a horse.

Need an Incubus to Succubus?

Thanks to my friend Buddy, I received this little clip in an email. It's The Soup's take on the season finale of Ghost Adventures. Just a little reminder to be careful what you say, especially on camera. It might come back to haunt you...

A Spirit of No Importance...

When the great playwright Oscar Wilde died penniless in a cheap Paris hotel room in 1900, he never would've imagined his posthumous fame. Yet after decades of silence regarding the writer, somewhat humiliated publicly by the trials concerning his sexuality, he is today viewed as one of the greats. In 1962, The Letters of Oscar Wilde was published and accepted by a more open-minded population. That same year, a lesser-known event occurred: Oscar Wilde apparently returned from the grave.

It happened in a séance room belonging to Leslie Flint, often regarded as one of the great British mediums who held up to ridicule and testing. Flint was known to contact both common people and celebrities in his time through an ectoplasmic "voice box", which would appear during mediumship, making the words come not from his own lips but the nearby air. On the 30th of August, a spirit came through in the presence of George Woods and Betty Greene. After much aloofness, it declared itself as Oscar Wilde.

The author spoke of his life and afterlife, and views of many differing topics for quite some time before fading away from "lack of energy". Given Flint's fame as a medium, audio recordings were taken of each session starting in 1955. The recording of "the spirit of Oscar Wilde" has survived and can still be listened to today. Many recordings can be found on this website. The full 30-minute recording of the Wilde séance is available online through this link. A partial excerpt and transcript is provided on "Oscar Wilde Returns". British videographer Jim Clark took an excerpt of the recording and jazzed it up slightly. Here is his computer animation of a photograph of Oscar speaking the words recorded almost 47 years ago:

News That's Beyond Bizarre...

To end the week on an interesting note, here are some unusual stories from our weird world. And that's no hat trick...

The Whisperer and the Ghost...

Yes, Jennifer Love Hewitt, star of Ghost Whisperer, does believe in ghosts in real life. In fact, she recently had a conversation with her dead grandmother, thanks to psychic James Van Praagh. She told OK! Magazine, "She just wanted to say hello and tell me that she was looking out for me. It was really nice." I'm sure Hewitt was an easier audience for Van Praagh than Barbara Walters.

Please, No Pictures...

The hunt for Storsjöodjuret, the infamous lake monster of Sweden, continues. But there is one slight snag for cryptozoologists: cameras have been banned by the council from being used on the shores of Lake Storsjön. Under-water surveillance has passed through local ordinance four times, but if you're planning an impromptu jaunt with a digital, you had better think twice. Who needs evidence, anyway?

Those Bloody Lesbians...

Perth was shaken in 2006 by the slaying of a 16-year-old girl. The two assailants, Jessica Stasinowsky and her lover Valerie Parashmuti, both pleaded guilty this week to bludgeoning their roommate to death with a concrete block. Apparently, the deed turned them on and they proceeded to make out while standing over her body. Parashmuti, 19, belonged to a vampire cult which engaged in the ritualistic drinking of blood. Their motive? They thought the girl was "annoying" and believed she was flirting with the girls significant other. Thus perpetuating the belief that lesbians are tough, vicious creatures...

Was Darby O'Gill Delusional?

If you're seeing faeries outside of the nearest gay bar, you might be suffering from Charles Bonnet Syndrome (CBS). British doctors estimate as many as 100,000 people in England may suffer from CBS. The disturbance causes hallucinations of people, objects, and even little winged human figures while the sufferer remains otherwise of sound mind. Scientists say it is caused by a lack of visual stimulation, not mental illness. Theories for ending CBS vary from stimulating the fingertips to holding your breath to (in extreme cases) medication. In the case of visual hallucinations of leprechauns, I might recommend looking for that pot of gold anyway...

Everything Old is New Again...

To most people, the whistle and chug of a steam locomotive is a haunting memory from the past. Specters of a time when steam was king still are scattered throughout the world in museums and (in some rare instances) as working dinosaurs brought back from the railroad boneyard. The golden age of steam is gone. These trains are a thing of the past.

Or are they?

On first glance, Britain's Class A1 Number 60163, named the Tornado, looks like just any other resurrection of the past. In reality, while the plans date back about 5o years, the locomotive itself first took its trial run in August of 2008. It's a brand-new steam locomotive built in Darlington by Hopetown Carriage Works which took 18 years and £3 million to create. Saturday marked her maiden voyage from York to Newcastle.

In fact, with booming fuel costs, people the world over are rethinking the use of diesel over steam. In Paraguay, steam has been brought back for tourist trains. Switzerland and Austria added new steam locomotives to some rail lines. A steam line from Chile to Argentina also is in the works. In fact, the Hunslet Engine Company (founded in 1864) is back to producing steam locomotives in Leeds after 35 years out of the locomotive business.

There is a certain mystique to steam engines which are lacking in cold diesel locos carrying freight to and fro across the US and many other nations. The beauty of the intricate gears spinning in clockwork unison harkens back to the time when travel wasn't only about the destination, it was about how you got there. Today, we speed along in a hurry to get somewhere while missing everything along the way. We clambor into planes hoping for a quick flight or drive at fastest speeds to get from point A to B.

But for many of us, the ghosts of steam still haunt us with pleasant longing. We long for excellent meals in dining cars instead of inedible rubbish on a plastic airline plate. Hopefully, with such specters as these rising from the grave, people will start to rethink their priorities. Instead of insane breakneck speeds in automobiles, applying make-up in rear view mirror while texting and risking accidents for that not-very-important instant message, we still might be able to relearn allowing someone else to take the reins as we sit back, enjoy the ride, and have more time to do these daily mundane tasks as scenery flies by our windows. To interact with other people in public transportation instead of closing ourselves into little boxes and avoiding the world around us.

Dead or alive, we're all a part of something greater than ourselves. We're a unique blend of thoughts, history, and cultures. The world isn't something to be afraif of and avoid; it's something to embrace, learn from, and become involved with. Perhaps our world would be a better place is we took the time to think about what lies beyond the dashboard and step on board a railway once in a while...

Stories of the Strange...

I have missed quite a lot of odd news over the past month. Luckily, there's a never-ending supply of the odd around our planet. Here are just a few strange stories from various news wires.

Are Curses Really Talent?

Simon Cowell is the man everyone seems to love to hate. Now, he's upset the wrong girl on the wrong day. While filming an episode of Britain's Got Talent, one contestant took her dismissal a bit too seriously. She returned to the stage, placing a hex on all the judges, stating, "You're all doomed." Following the witchy woman's departure, the crew experienced the worst session ever. But was it the curse or just a lack of talent in Birmingham?

A Predestined Payoff...

Jorma Hogbacka, a 60-year-old retired welder from Ontario, is now $14.5 million dollars richer. But the St. Catharines man isn't at all surprised. A psychic told him he would be rich beyond his wildest dreams just four years ago. Hogbacka doesn't have any major plans for the money and says he feels like it's "another day, except I have a big cheque." Surele he won't be the ony one cashing in on this bit of luck. if the psychic comes forward, she undoubtedly stands to make her own windfall.

Strangers in the Night...

While singer Robbie Williams is hunting UFOs, something strange has been happening in the comfort of his own home. On numerous occasions, Williams has awakened to find cuts and scratches on his back. The marks generally disappear within a few days, but he didn't think it strange until mentioning it to friends recently. Some people have suggested it to be encountered with demons, ghosts, or succubi. Or perhaps he simply rolled over on his cat in the middle of the night...

Smudge Them Out...

After the past eight years of Bush and Cheney in the White House, there is probably more than a little bad karma left over within its walls. But not anymore: last Monday, hundreds of people met at Dupont Circle to burn some white sage. The act, known as smudging, follows shamanic/Native American tradition of dispersing negative energy from an area. As the crowd sang "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye", wafts of the pungent smoke drifted toward 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to rid it of "evil spirits." Fortunately, the evil entities had already vacated the building...

Cream, Sugar, or Spooks?

British scientists believe they've found a clue to explaining paranormal activity by the cup full. A Durham University study of 216 coeds this month revealed that students drinking large quantities of caffeine (at least seven cups per day) are more prone to hearing unexplained voices. According to the researchers, caffeine consumption could have an effect on schizophrenic hallucinations, though they could not confirm repeatable tests or that participants actually consumed the levels of caffeine stated in the study. Really. Over two hundred college students claim caffeine is their one vice that leads to hallucinations? I find that hard to swallow...

A Flame to Light Your Way...

A good many people take their ghosthunting seriously. And others... well, they can't avoid finding the humor behind it all.

Some of you who have watched Most Haunted may remember sensitive Ian Shillito from his appearances in Series 8. Now, the openly gay paranormal investigator has formed London Paranormal. The organization holds tours, gives lectures, and launched the 'London Ghost Festival' last year.

But that's not all. He is also the co-creator of a troop called the Scary Mary's. And yes, they are what you think they are: gay men in search of spooks. Combining a paranormal show's overuse of night vision with a healthy dose of laughter, it's not your typical investigating. It's all about the fun, the bits which normally end up on a cutting room floor. And with names such as "Wampy", "Stella Bagwash", "Waynetta Shillito", "Pooh Bear", and "Steele Magnolia" you can tell it's all about the fun.

Without further ado, I bring you an investigation of the pink sort at Harwich Redoubt Fort:

Part I


Part II

Odd News Briefs...

In the last few busy weeks, several news stories fell through the cracks. Here's a little glimpse at some of the obscure events happening around the globe.

Keep You on Your Toes...

Darlington, Victoria has a new claim to fame: it will soon be home to Australia's first "vertical cemetery". Bodies will be buried on biodegradable shrouds standing upright at a cost of $2000—that's a savings of $5000 on a traditional burial. After all the plots are filled, it will become grazing and for cattle (gives a while new meaning to being put out to pasture, doesn't it?). Critics in the mortuary business say it's "disrespectful to the dead" but in these tough economic times, people aren't too shook up over their rotting corpses.

Mobile Monolith...

After selling their historic manor in Abbotts Court, John and Suzy Burton planned to leave a stone circle constructed by fashion guru Thomas Burberry at the site. The developer made clear his plans to demolish the neo-pagan structure, so the couple decided to take it with them. Neighbors were caught off guard as trucks and cranes descended on the suburbs of Dorchester, setting up the the massive stones. Both practicing witches, the Burtons brought their coven to consecrate the grounds. The added positive energy to the neighborhood has been quite wel-received.

Sweet Astronomy...

Do extraterrestrials have a sweet tooth? It's possible, since scientists recently found traces of glycoaldehyde—an organic compound related to simple sugar—some 26,000 light years from earth. The discovery, in a remote section of the central Milky Way where life was thought to be impossible, has brought up questions about other life forms existing in space. But the real, burning question is: one lump or two?

Wolf Man No More...

People suffering from "Werewolf Syndrome" may soon be able to live normal lives. Scientists at New York's Colombia University have made advances in a possible treatment for hypertrichosis, involving testosterone injections. 50 people wordwide suffer from the disease, leading to excessive hair growth over the entire body. This is good news for patients, but bad news for razor manufacturers and circus sideshows.

A Half Century of Science Fiction...

Sunday marked a milestone which passed me by entirely. It was the 45th anniversary of the British scifi series Doctor Who.

On the day following John F. Kennedy's assassination, November 23, 1963, the first episode of Doctor Who hit the airwaves. Through its many seasons, spinoffs, and incarnations, it has remained a popular story. It follows the adventures of "the Doctor", a time-traveling alien "time lord" on his journeys throughout time and space, correcting injustices and exploring frontiers in a less-than-reliable archaic time machine known as the TARDIS.

On an interesting side note, the show is featured in one of my favorite movies. In several scenes of Get Real, the lead character's father is watching old episodes. A Doctor Who clock is proudly displayed on the wall and he is dressed as a Cyberman (one of the Doctor's adversaries) as he prepares to attend a convention. On another interesting note, the lead actor (Ben Silverstone) is older than me... by only six days.

The show has seen 751 aired episodes since the 1960s and is featured in the Guinness Book of World Records as the longest-running scifi series in history. Ten separate actors have been cast in the main role over the decades, including Peter Davison ('Tristan' from All Creatures Great and Small) and the most current, David Tennant.

This show marked my first indoctrination into scifi only a few years ago and quickly became a favorite. Its mix of real history, bizarre creatures, philosophical undercurrents, and quirky humor add to its unique charm.

So, happy belated birthday, Doctor Who. Here's to hoping for many more years of fantastical oddities...

Dead Comedy Lives Long in History...

"This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's a stiff! ...Bereft of life, he rests in peace! ...He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!"

While Monty Python became famous for these memorable lines from their "Dead Parrot Sketch", the joke itself predates the British comedy routine... by nearly 1,600 years!

A recently republished collection of some of the world's oldest jokes, Philogelos: The Laugh Addict, contains an ancient Greek witticism written in 4 AD about a man returning a recently-purchased dead slave to his seller. "By the gods, when he was with me, he never did any such thing!" replies the seller.

Fortunately for John Cleese and the rest of his comedic comrades, there were no copyright infringements made on the joke since it was written without prior knowledge of the Greek farce. Besides, the author is long since dead... and unavailable for refund, as well.

If you've never watched the Monty Python sketch, or care to revisit it, here's a clip from a live performance in 1976:


You can also get your own plush "sleeping" parrot in remembrance of the classic British comedy skit.