Exterminating Self-Extermination...
Euthanasia can be controversial, but what about the right to do yourself in? While assisted suicide of terminally-ill patients is fine in Oregon, the state's House of Representatives has decided it's not right to cash in on someone else's desired death. A bill was passed on Monday making the sale of "suicide kits" illegal. California woman Sharlotte Hydorn has been selling asphyxiation kits for $60 each (plus shipping) to would-be final clients for some time, but now might face up to 10 years in prison for selling her wares (called "exit kits") to people in Oregon. I guess for those down-and-out souls on the rainy, dreary coast, it's back to the tried and true methods like arsenic, hand guns, and hangings.
File Under V for Vanished...
Many people have complained about the blacked-out portions of US military records dealing with unidentified flying objects. It could be worse; they could have disappeared. So seems to be the case in Australia where, after an exhaustive two-month search, the records housed by the military related to UFO reports (or "X-Files") are AWOL. The case files were recorded up until 2000 and a newspaper recently requested copies of the old documents, at which time the disappearance was discovered. Officials say they must have been lost or destroyed. Another government cover-up of alien contact? Or the cleaning crew doing overtime? One thing is for certain: no Aussie cattle are safe.
Recalculating the Apocalypse...
We can't blame Harold Camping for miscalculating the Rapture. Of the thousands of years of human time, narrowing down that one single day when the good Christians of the world would be beamed up to heaven must be a daunting task. After apologizing for his error, Camping has announced the real date of the end of the world: October 21, 2011. It's time to get those new billboards and signs prepared and enjoy the last few months before demons rise up and slaughter the wicked. Luckily for him, the new date falls much closer to Halloween. If you want to show the streets of the United States filled with ghouls, devils, and monsters, there's no better month than October.
Presidential Tomb Raiders...
The days of corpse theft are still alive and well . . . at least in the Mediterranean. Last month, three men were convicted of stealing the body of Cyprus' late President Tassos Papadopoulos. They planned to use the deceased as a bargaining chip to negotiate for the release of one of the men's brothers who was serving two life sentences for murder. (Luckily for him, not for the murder of the president.) Papadopoulos died of lung cancer in 2008; his body was stolen less than a year later. Desecration of a grave is a misdemeanor in Cyprus and the men were sentenced to 18-20 months in jail. While they may not have freed the convicted murderer, at least they won't have to wait to visit him behind bars.
Politics are Cutthroat...
We may think that politicians are insane fools, but in the republic of Kyrgyzstan, they certainly can be creative. It seems that Parliament in the former Soviet Central Asian country was having a lot of trouble. Obviously, it couldn't be caused by all the disputes and troubles caused by living people. It must have been the work of evil spirits. So they took it upon themselves to go back to their roots by asking, "What would our ancestors have done in times like this?" The answer was a eureka moment: Let's sacrifice some sheep! To appease the "evil spirits," rams were led to the green lawn in front of governmental headquarters and ritually slaughtered. According to Kurmanbek Osmonov, a member of Parliament, "This is a popular ancient tradition, carried out in order to avoid a repeat of last year's tragic events and for peace and harmony to triumph." Only time will tell of the sacrifice worked or, for that matter, if the trend will catch on and make politicians far more amusing.
