They Really Bought the Farm...

Cows in Tennessee are feeling a sense of unease.

Union County residents along Hickory Valley Road noticed vultures circling a pasture near their property last week. Upon closer inspection, the bodies of eleven cows were found scattered across the property belonging to E. G. McCoy of Knoxville. Assuming the animals had been shot, police were notified. The Tennessee Department of Agriculture disagreed with the verdict.

According to their workers, and those at the University of Tennessee's Animal Clinic, there were no signs of bullet wounds. In fact, no cause of death could immediately be determined. Sergeant Mike Butcher (aptly named) of the Sheriff's Department said that biopsies of the bodies were taken Thursday and investigators are awaiting the results.

"Nobody's seen anything like it," Butcher stated. "It's a first for us."

Four other cows survived. No evidence of foul (or bovine) play could be found. A few local residents claimed to witness UFOs the same night, but authorities aren't ruling anything out at this time.

Of course, if you want to witness your own cow abduction by an alien, you may not have to wait for extraterrestrial life forms. Designer Lasse Klein is working toward production of an Alien Abduction Lamp, complete with human and cow for teleportation.

Quirky Paranormal News Shorts...

Just to catch everyone up on some of the news of the odd from the past few weeks, here's a brief glimpse at some of the world's more strange occurrences.

Big Fish, Mork, Mork, Mork!

A local videographer in Sweden claims to have captured footage of Storsjöodjuret, Sweden's version of the Loch Ness Monster. The creature in great Lake has been spotted hundreds of times over the past 400 years. It is described as a humped serpent with the head of a dog. Just be careful to keep the Swedish Chef at bay. Who knows what he might do with such a delicacy.

Your Mystic Money's Not Good Here...

In King County, the Solid Waste Division as turned down psychic funds. Seattle psychic Alexandra Chauran was impressed with the composting of our bodily functions and offered to donate her services for a fund-raising program for the Christmas holiday. They replied with a "thanks, but no thanks", stating that a paranormal business was "not an appropriate fit for a county program". Crooked politicians? Yes! Tarot readers and pet psychics? Absolutely not!

What Big Feet You Have...

Fossilized footprints believed to belong to a bigfoot-like creature have been unearthed near Cookville, Tennessee. They were discovered by Harold Jackson on his property and measure 15 inches long and 11 inches wide. Jackson thinks they're simply Native American tracks. That might be wise, after the bigfoot corpse hoax of recent news. Still, footprints that large are questionable, unless it was a native basketball player from the past.

Police Hounds of the Baskervilles...

A band of would-be ghost hunters broke into Westboro State Hospital in Worcester, Massachusetts to hunt for ghost of the former mental patients. What they encountered instead was the rattling of handcuffs as local police arrived on the scene. One man jumped from a window and eluded police, while the others quickly ran out when they heard the police dogs bark. They were arrested on charges of trespassing and breaking and entering. But luckily, they weren't bitten by any dogs... or ghosts.

Religion and the Grape Lady...

That pesky Virgin Mary keeps popping up everywhere. Now she's taking over the supermarket fruit aisle! 24-year-old Becky Ginn of Arlington, Virginia found her effigy on a grape and blogged about it on Livejournal. After some prodding from readers, she contacted the local media. Ginn, a Baptist, hasn't given any thought to idolizing the green relic. But if she plans to sell it, she probably should do so before it becomes another California raisin.

That's all the wierdness for the day. Have a good weekend, everyone!

Somebody Needs the Wood...

Last week, a severe storm struck the small town of Maryville, Tennessee. A large oak tree was fell in Magnolia Cemetery and the groundskeepers worked on clearing it.

One of them noticed something peculiar about a section of log they lifted up. Ernest Ward claims the cross section bore a striking resemblance to a face. Amused by the discovery, he took it to the Daily Times.

A former worker believes the face is that of a spirit. Others, including The Sun, believe it bears a striking resemblance to Queen Elizabeth.

Be it male or female, royalty or pauper, this story probably will fade into the proverbial woodwork quite quickly... except in a small town with a slow news day.

A Haunting Turned Landmark...

If you have ever watched the movie "An American Haunting", you are probably familiar with the Bell Witch.

This tale first started back in 1817 near the town of Adams, Tennessee. The Bell family reported many strange, paranormal events which were allegedly perpetrated by a witch who placed a curse on the family for previous wrongs done unto her. The "curse" lasted until the 1930s and claimed the lives of several family members. It was believed to be the work of Kate Batts, a local who was accused of witchcraft.

I wonder... why didn't they simply hang a witch ball in the window?

Now, the location where the witch was first spotted, Bell Witch Cave, has officially been declared a National Historic Site. Approximately 17,000 people visit the cave every year in hopes of catching a glimpse of the witch's apparition.

Many researchers and historians disbelieve the legend and find faults in the tale. Others surmise that it was a case of poltergeist activity, where the depression and stress of adolescent Lucy Bell caused psychokinetic manifestations in the household. Still, it remains one of the most famous paranormal legends in America.

...And the Price Isn't Out of This World

The housing market is down in the United States. There just aren't enough buyers for homes, so houses tend not to sell for high prices. Even if that house happens to look like a UFO.

That was the case for the 38-year-old "Space House" perched on the side of Signal Mountain near Chattanooga, Tennessee when it went up for auction on March 15th. The winning bid was $135,000 which surprised the auctioneer, Terry Posey. The new owner is a woman from Cincinnatti, Ohio.

The house sits atop six supports intended to look like landing gear. The staircase leading to the three-bedroom dwelling is fully retractable and there is enough space for at least two vehicles underneath.

These features apparently came in handy for a previous owner. During an argument with her husband, she left the home, raised the stairs, and parked his truck directly underneath, trapping him inside.

There's Something Queer About That Old, Spooky House...

I can't help it. It's nearly impossible to be a gay man and not try to find a gay slant to nearly everything.

Even the paranormal.

When I first started investigating the supernatural, I still felt quite alone. I was a teenager in a small town, battling my own demons and shame while searching for dead people in the darkness. Actually, that's what drew me further into the world of ghosts and hauntings: they seemed so sad. So misunderstood. So feared and hated for no good reason. They were viewed how I felt I was being viewed. They just needed someone to listen. Like me.

Then came the other investigators. Many were devoutly religious and "of a high moral fiber" (meaning Bible-thumping tyrants). Some were very nice, though, and very accepting. And as time went on, I stumbled across one or two who were 'family'. At least I wasn't the only gay in the village anymore...

I've come to realize that there are many gays and lesbians in the field, scattered across the country (we really are everywhere!) and many were just as shocked to find out they weren't alone.

But that wasn't quite good enough for me. It lead to another question: are there any gay ghosts?

Obviously, there had to be. The world of the dead can't be all straight! Right?

In fact, I was right. I have found stories. I've even been compiling notes for a book on the subject.

So, where are these queer spooks, you say? Just look around the globe and you'll find them. Corpsewood Manor, tucked away in a remote section of Tennessee, is allegedly haunted by a gay couple who were murdered for worshiping Satan (hmm... what better way to rationalize a hate crime than making the victims sound like terrible people). A well-known bar in New Orleans, Cafe Lafitte's in Exile, is rumored to be the favored watering hole of long-dead writers Tennessee Williams and Truman Capote. There's even a haunted gay bar in Italy!

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

To be honest, I'm dying of curiosity to see these places for myself and investigate the spirits which inhabit them. It's not simply because of the gay content. The tales themselves are just plain fascinating to me. Though I will admit, the fact that they involve gay characters does make it more intriguing.

We may not have the right to marry, but we do still have the right to haunt the bastards who've bashed us!