Sunday, May 4, 2008

To Everything There is a Season...

Well, last night was rather quiet. Pizza and a movie with Bill and Chris. I stayed up until 2:00 AM to watch Graham Norton on BBC America. I probably fell asleep around three... I always have a tricky time falling asleep.

I finally woke up around 9:00 AM. Evelyn met us at Bill's house and we went off to Denny's for brunch. Chris headed for home and the three of us remaining went for a walk along the Towpath Trail in Valley View. It was a great day to be outdoors, though not the best to be sleepy from the rest of the weekend still.

Bill called the woman we were supposed to interview today for her ghost problems. Since the proper group paperwork wasn't on-hand, it was rescheduled for Wednesday. Bill and the new case manager will be handling it all. Perhaps that means another fun address for me to research and go back into the woodwork! Woohoo!

Yes, I know. I'm a trifle sarcastic anymore about many things. And I know as is always the case, the wrong people either take offense to it or feel badly about what I sometimes say. I just find this as the better platform for venting my occasional moodiness, humor, and frustration... especially being a writer. My thoughts tend to come out better via the written word... and without interruption too!

I know I probably seem distant from a few friends.. or even as though I don't care for them anymore. This is hardly the case. I just need some better separation in my life at times. Years ago, I belonged to a paranormal group... and since I was never "off the clock", things said during what I considered as "non-business hours" became matters of business. Just like a regular 9 to 5 job, I like that same definitive line. Just because you pal around with co-workers doesn't mean you can't be good friends with varied topics and interests aside from work, right?

And therein lies my utmost frustration as of late: I have no such separation. Everything I say, do, discuss, ponder, et cetera feels as though it becomes intertwined with the group. I don't want to eat, sleep, drink, and breathe dead people 24 hours a day. Yes, I'm a paranormal investigator, but I'm so many more things. An evening out should be just that. Thoughts and ideas don't automatically have to become property of something or someone else. Some may call be uncooperative for having these feelings, but to me it's mere logic.

I enjoy the company of friends. I enjoy getting to know them more... having fun... being a target of snarky humor. I just have those days when I want to put those labels (researcher, investigator, tour guide, historian, PR slave, etc.) back on the shelf and simply enjoy the people I love being around.

Not everyone chooses to be the mascot. Not everyone can simply give and be expected to give more and more. Perhaps more things in life need some type of contract to balance equality... or at least some people may need to sign them so that the individuals who sometimes want something in return aren't left in the dust in lieu of freebies.

2 comments:

no names please said...

Kenny we love you. Please don't be grumpy at us. We just like to pick your brain for the vast information it stores.

Chris said...

I agree with Evie, I am so sorry to be asking you about places and will not do that to ya anymore. I apologise for this weekend and hope you feel better and get some rest! Warm Huggs always!