So, this week I'm feeling "eh". That's the only word to describe it.
I feel a bit swept up by things, like a house carried away by floodwaters. Left to the mercy of the current. Pulled in a million directions and tossed into debris.
And that's just the fun aspects of my life!
While working at a small business years ago, I acquired the nickname "slave boy". I was the only male employee so I was called upon for heavy lifting and "butch" activity. It was a joke at the time, but sometimes I still feel that way many times. The work horse dragged from the barn to plow the field, then shut back away behind the doors. Just toss a few oats at me and I'll be happy, right?
That only leads to feeling beaten down. Broken. Awaiting the glue factory.
Well, that sums up how I feel in some circumstances anymore. That I should just deal with everything and put on a happy face. Sure, I find humor in life, but that doesn't mean I can just put on that happy face and be content with everything. Like most people, I need a sense of identity. A sense of self. A sense of feeling loved and valued as a human being instead of a quick pat on the head to shut me up.
Drama is meant for the stage. Cheerleading belongs in a high school stadium. Patronizing behavior is best suited for day care. Facades are fine on houses and in Hollywood.
Life should be an enjoyable experience, not a fun house. I'm still trying to sort through the mirrors to find which ones are true.